Between Two Worlds

I am torn between two worlds. Good and Evil, you may ask? No, not that simple. Wealth and poverty. That is my dilemma.

I am an artist (poetic right?), and I see the value of time and investment of supplies needed to produce my work.

One the one hand I feel that my work should be worth dollar wise on the Very High End because of the quality of materials used and the expertise of construction and time involved. Yet, the ones who look at and appreciate the true value of my work can't afford it, and the ones who can don't appreciate it or think I am even worth it because I myself am not on the high end of life.

If I used lesser quality items to make my work more affordable it wouldn't be worth my time in doing it. I can't abide an inferior product and feel pride in construction. Yet, its mere cost of materials puts my work out of reach to those in a lesser income.

Those who have more than I do, look at me like I am confused white trash. Me, I must be confused because I don't see myself as inferior to those with means, only challenged by income not pride adn ability or talent.

Yet I feel like a traitor that I cannot afford my work to others in my exact position.

How much of a hypocrite and I that I don't want to be a "lower class" citizen yet I feel my work should be enjoyed by the very people I don't think should be able to afford it (because I feel my work is worth so much). That only the fortunate and privileged should be worthy of my work.

Is this what they call and identity crisis? Or, is it true that I just really think I am more than what I am? If so, what is wrong with wanting the best? Is it the fact that I believe the best should be afforded by ALL/ Does that lessen the statement of Best then if anyone can have it?

It is after all historically known that the best is held by the wealthy and the worst by the poor. There is no intermix.

What I want is unachievable. Maybe this is where my dilemma stems from- The Unobtainable....